What Do I Do When My Loved One Dies?

What Do I Do When My Loved One Dies?

This is one of those topics that gets shied away from 99% of the time.  Nobody wants to delve into the nuts and bolts of how to handle a loved-one’s passing.  It’s a time to remember and reminisce but it’s also a crucial time for some decision making.

We’ve all been involved to some degree in the aftermath of a family working through the details of someone’s passing.  There are a lot of articles and books written about dealing with the grief and loss, but there’s so much that has to happen so quickly after a person’s passing that gets glossed over.

Combing through numerous online sites, I was looking to compile a list of things that need to be done after someone’s passing.  Below is the list that takes those multiple suggestions and puts them into one document to help you navigate a difficult time in your life.

Actually, one more thing before getting into the list.  I’m not wanting to leave an important thing unsaid so here it is… each of us, while we are able, should utilize this list and pull all this information together for our families.  Just get a 3-ring binder and start accumulating the important pieces of paper that will make this difficult time a little bit easier.

Actually it was two things I wanted to say.  The second thing is more of something you can give your family; pre-planning your own funeral.  My mother took care of this and it made my family’s life so much easier.  The funeral director had all my mother’s choices and preferences already in-hand.  When we notified them of her passing, they handled just about everything; it was such a relief.  It’s a simple process and gives the survivors a short respite when trying to come to terms with their grief.

So, on to the list:

 

Immediately or Very Soon…

• If possible, get help from family or friends
• Did the deceased have any arrangement for organ donation? If so, notify the appropriate people about the passing as soon as possible
• Contact immediate family
• Follow body bequeathal instructions if the deceased wanted to donate their body
• Did the deceased make funeral pre-arrangements
  • If yes, find the documentation
  • If not, chose a funeral home
• Take a family member or friend to help with funeral planning decisions
• If the deceased was a veteran, did they want a veteran’s burial?
• Make a list of all those who need to be notified
• Ask for help arranging for the funeral gathering; where, when, divide up the responsibilities
• Ask someone to stay at the deceased’s house during funeral
• Write the obituary and submit it to the local paper; consider a photo or possibly submitting the obituary to multiple papers if family is spread in several locations
• Arrange for a headstone; consult with the funeral director to see if anything was pre-arranged
• Ask the funeral director to put out an attendance book for visitors to sign
• Acknowledge all cards, flowers and donations later

Now, there will be documents that need to be collected and notifications that need to be made.  This falls right into the middle of my first suggestion above; gather these documents ahead of time into a single location where someone knows where to find it.  Here are the documents you may need to find:

• Bank statements
• Birth certificate
• Business ownership documentation
• Car insurance policy
• Death certificate (15-20 copies); the funeral director may be able to get these at a small cost
• Deeds for property
• Divorce decree
• Funeral pre-arrangements and instructions
• Health insurance policies
• Homeowner’s insurance policies
• Investment account statements
• Lease information
• Life insurance policies
• List of assets
• List of bills and auto-payments
• Loan statements
• Marriage certificate
• Military service records and discharge papers
• Mortgage information
• Pension/retirement plan statements
• Safe deposit box information & key; only the person named to the account can access it
• Social Security Numbers for the deceased, surviving spouse and any dependent children
• Stock certificates
• Storage locker contracts
• Tax returns
• Vehicle titles
• Will and/or trust documents

When you have gathered these important pieces of information, it will be time to start working through dealing with the estate of the deceased.

• Get Letters of Testamentary or Letters of Administration

These documents may be necessary to work with businesses that the deceased was working with; this is called a Letter of Testamentary.  If the deceased had a will and you are the executor, you obtain letters testamentary from the local courthouse or city call.  You must present the official will to the court along with a certified death certificate and file a probate petition.  Once the court opens a probate file and validates the will, it will then give you the authority via the letters testamentary to carry out the duties required to settle the estate and act on behalf of the deceased.  If there was no will, the court can issue letters of administration to a surviving spouse or next of kin after a death certificate has been supplied.

• Collect and secure pertinent documents (see list above)
• Bank accounts, stocks, bonds
• Safe deposit box (proof will be needed to access if your name is not on the account)
• Credit cards statements and cards
• Notify the estate executor if this is not you
• Research possible Veteran’s Administration benefits
• Notify close friends and extended family
• Secure the deceased property; lock up the house, cars
• Notify post office to forward mail to the executor
• Send a letter to credit bureaus to know existing debts

Credit bureau letters should include:

• Date
• Your name
• Your address
• Your relation to the deceased
• Your signature
• Deceased’s date of death
• Deceased’s date of birth
• Deceased’s place of birth
• Deceased’s SSN
• Deceased’s addresses for past 5 years
• Request that the deceased’s credit report be mailed to you
• Request that the following notation be listed on the credit report “Deceased – Do not issue credit”
• Copy of marriage certificate
• Copy of death certificate

Equifax                                      Experian                       TransUnion
Equifax Info Svcs LLC               PO Box 9701                   PO Box 6790
Office of Consumer Affairs       Allen, TX  75013             Fullerton, CA  92834
PO Box 105169
Atlanta, GA  30348

Here are some other issues that may come up and need to be handled:

• Apply for benefits that may be due to the deceased’s survivors
• List of assets
• Taxes: Federal Estate Tax
• Taxes: State Death Taxes
• Taxes: State Inheritance Tax
• Taxes: Federal and State Income Tax
• A Certified Financial Planner can help determine income, expenses, assets and liabilities
• Consult tax professional
• If the deceased was a business owner or investor, contact an attorney to transfer ownership
• Look into employment benefits if the deceased was still employed at the time of death
• Notify financial institutions, government agencies
• Cancel or transfer accounts, memberships and subscriptions
• Pay final bills and guard against financial fraud
• Change or transfer ownership or title of property
• Notify creditors
• Contact banks/credit unions
• Contact life insurance policy issuer
• Was the deceased a beneficiary on YOUR will? You will need to name another recipient
• Contact Social Security administration
• Contact any labor unions
• Contact health insurance provider
• Cancel clubs or memberships
• Notify Medicare
• Stop health insurance

This is a lot of information.  Definitely get some help when dealing with the settling of an estate.  And above all, save your own family some heartache and pull these documents together for yourself.