The Transition Period

The Transition Period

Moving can be one of the most stressful experiences for any individual, no matter what one’s age or situation in life. For an older adult, moving can be even more difficult.  While their adult children may see the move as downsizing or “taking life easy,” this move represents so much more to seniors.  For many, they see this move as their last.  The last chapter in their lives may now start to become a dizzying reality.  Often combined with ill health and the loss of a spouse or friends, it can be an emotionally-charged process.

The transition to assisted living is unique for each individual who decides to make this move.  Some will move because of friends or to be near children and grandchildren.  Some will make the move alone, across town or across the country. Some may have a rough time.  Some seem to glide right through it.

For some seniors, this move can mark the end of caring for a spouse or dependence on adult children, which can represent a new found freedom.  Many older adults who feel they will lose their independence, in fact, find they gain a great deal more.  They settle in and live out their lives in comfort, without the worry of maintaining a home.

The success of a transition to assisted living will be determined by many factors.  Here are some ways to prepare:

• If you are moving a family member long distance, expect a tougher and longer transition period.  No matter how close they are to family now, they may be away from all that was familiar.  A new doctor, a new bank, unfamiliar surroundings, a climate change, all these together can be overwhelming.  Be patient.  Go slowly.  Don’t bombard your family member with a lot to do, or see, right away.  Getting settled in to a new home takes time.
• If there are health issues to consider, make sure they are not neglected during the transition.  It’s a good idea to visit the family physician just prior to moving.  Most assisted living communities will require a current medical history and physical just prior to move in.  This is a good time to make sure a health problem doesn’t compound the stress of moving.  If there is a great deal of anxiety associated with the move, discussing the physician’s recommendations may be of help to an older adult.
• Many assisted living communities now allow pets. If your loved one has a pet, do whatever you can to move the pet as well.  Pets are incredibly healing and proven stress relievers.  Caring for a pet can relieve some of the hopeless feeling older adults have in a strange environment
• Be aware of the signs of depression.  A certain amount of sadness is to be expected but depression can be painful as well as harmful to seniors in transition.  Make sure your loved one is eating, getting out and around, and engaging with others at the new community.  Even if they are not particularly outgoing or social, they will need the company of others to adjust to the new surroundings.  Some anxiety is to be expected.
• If possible, try to bring your loved one’s personal possessions from their former home.  Most assisted living communities now have unfurnished apartments because the providers know that personal belongings are so valuable for the comfort of anyone moving from one home to another.  Photographs, a favorite chair, cozy familiar bedding and pillows all make for a smoother move.  If you are able, set up the new apartment before your family member moves in.  He or she will feel a lot more comfortable upon arrival.
• Enlist the help of the staff at the assisted living community to welcome your loved one.  Some communities even have special “ambassadors” to help new residents find their way around and introduce them to new friends. Some will have a special housewarming to welcome family and old friends.  Many senior living and senior care communities will ask for a brief family history or a personal interest form to be completed.  If they know a bit about a new resident before he / she arrives, that person is less of a stranger.
• And lastly, have empathy for a parent or loved one who has lived a long life full of stories and meaningful experiences.  It is very hard to be 80 and afraid.  Fear of the unknown and a bit of frailty can make any of us uncomfortable.  Support your family member through the transition by letting them know you are there.

You may consider visiting a bit more frequently when your family member first makes the move; but keep in mind that it’s wise to establish boundaries from the very beginning.  If your intent is to visit once a week or once every two weeks, then visiting every day may cause your family member to have a different expectation of you than you intended.  Consider visiting only twice as frequently in the beginning as you intend to visit once the transition process has occurred.  In other words, if your intent is to visit once a week, you may consider making an extra visit mid-week for the first four to eight weeks of the move.  Phone conversations may offer an alternative from time to time, but they can’t offer the same emotional support and energy as a personal visit.